I just read an article in the Boston Globe Magazine by Kara Baskin about how nauseatingly happy everyone on Facebook is, or pretending to be. It’s one big “Look at how cute my puppy is! See how awesomely psyched we are!” The truth is, no one wants to put up the bad stuff. Who wants to put up a photo of yourself in the jeans that you can’t zip, a screaming child in a grocery cart, or a depressed face staring at the television?
Well, I’ll have a go. Yin and Yang or, in this case, Yang and Yin.
Yang: There is some amazing stuff happening for Erik and me. We are so close to something we can almost touch it. The blog is doing great, the movie is truly amazing, and the job site is coming together…The payoff for this will be a business that has been completely developed through self-financing, the generous time and work of friends, and the parents helping out twice. And I will never lose sight of those blessings.
Yin: This has been no all-day party in a bouncy castle. Erik is busting his ass. He works all day and night. The freelance to finance us means no breaks. None. But, did I mention no breaks? Weekends, holidays, 5 am, 2 am. And, if Erik has no breaks, then I have no breaks. I enjoy being a stay at home mom, but I am no Mother Teresa or Mary Poppins. I am neither a saint nor a work of fiction. I am real, I have bad days, I get upset.
Yang: We are lucky to have health insurance coverage.
Yin: Our health insurance cost is tragicomedy ridiculous. We get so little for what we pay. I filled an Rx the other day and the co-pay was $50.00, AND we already pay over a grand for our monthly premium. I almost cried at the pharmacy. I looked up at the check-out person and said “Really?” and he replied with a wince, “Yup.” And I mean really, If our society can’t figure out this healthcare thing…we are truly pathetic.
Yang: We are bootstrapping a business. There is a great deal of pride in knowing that we are actually doing this. When we look back, we will never have to say, “I wonder what would have happened if…”
Yin: There is the stress of no financial routine. I am a creature of habit and I love predictability. These days, it’s all sweating by the seat of our pants. No regular paycheck means the days tick off like a gruesome metronome until M-Day. Mortgage. Erik and I have this lip biting look we give each other – It’s a cross between I know we can do this, and holy shit.
Yang: There are actually humans out there who provide services and possess a soul. I believe Lenny our mechanic is the leading example. When we went to pay for our car brakes with plastic he said, “I don’t believe in credit cards, have run my business 30 years without ‘em. You can post date me a check if you need to.” And God Bless Lenny.
Yin: I had 3 credit cards that I had paid off years ago. They had a combined excellent available credit that I was saving for a rainy day. Now that it’s raining, the majority of our available credit limit has disappeared. After all of those years of responsible payment and good credit standing, and when I really needed it…poof.
I could keep going – But, I think that’s enough for now. Yin and Yang. Shadow and Light. We must have both – Neither can exist without the other. And, shadows and light are what truly make the picture interesting.
18 Comments
I’m sure I can voice what thousands are feeling. We’re rootin for you! I think the film, book and the website will not only be inspirational for us but I have faith that they will rewarding for you.
So here’s to what we all hope companies and life work can be; meaningful and balanced with our lives. Work to live, not live to work. Helping others while helping our families.
Thank you for helping to show me that the road less traveled is better than the interstate.
I know how hard this must be for both of you. But you’re doing great things and the community you have built will pay off. It will. Thank you for being so honest about the state of life right now.
Like you, I’m bored with all the sappy happy posts. And most of them, I don’t believe. And while I do believe in being optimistic, I prefer to hear reality. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for sharing, you site, story and movie are quite an inspiration. Keep up the good work and the energy!
peace!
Jim, Becca, Michel…I speak for both Kathryn and I when I say you guys are awesome. You wouldn’t think it, but comments like those are literally what prevent us from saying “the hell with this” and starting over.
Thank you. Very, very much.
Thanks for a great post. I appreciate your honesty and I know so many people can relate. In fact, I just tried on a pair of jeans that wouldn’t zip this morning! But keep the faith! The fact that you are talking out loud about the process is helping so many people.
I’m really looking forward to seeing the movie, the book and whatever else comes out of all this yin and yang.
Great post. People hide so much then scream they are transparent. Life is good but at times it can be hard. Balance in all things or as much balance as you can get out of life!
Thank you so much for sharing and for your authenticity – its so refreshing. I’m also glad its not just me with similar stress
Hang in there!
Happened across this post from a RT of a RT on Twitter – and the timing couldn’t be any more perfect for me to read today!
My wife and I are recovering from a major job loss that we spent every dime we had to relocate for a year prior and are digging our way out bit by bit. I’m finishing a new book and trying to ramp up a new business as well and having days like today, that you feel like giving up. Until you read that you’re not alone.
Friends and family don’t really understand, though they try hard to. The constant “why are you killing yourselves at 3am?” because they just can’t relate at all.
Thanks for sharing – I’ll be watching your blog from now on and wishing the best of success!
Thanks for sharing a dose of reality… Non-bootstrappers often shake their heads and wonder. And with all the “happy” talk on FB and other sites, sometimes you wonder yourself. A good mix of yin and yang is exactly what we need to keep our eyes fixed on the prize and keep on keeping on!
Another excellent post Kathryn. I like the honest reality of your posts as much as I like the unyielding optimism of Erik’s…thanks for keeping it up.
I’m rooting for you guys!
Came across the link to your story on Twitter… going through a similar journey ourselves so it really resonated.
Making steps forward everyday is the goal… thanks for sharing & all the best!
I once saw a support link that I can’t find now. I’m adding you two to my public radio support list.
Thank you so much for all of the comments of encouragement. They are all so appreciated and more importantly, motivating. Jim, the R. Frost, Road Less Traveled really resonates for me. To paraphrase…As way leads on to way. I doubt we should ever come back…And it has made all the difference.
Thank you for being brave and speaking the sometimes ugly truth about what’s REALLY going on. You guys have half the advertising world rooting for you (the other half just haven’t heard the story yet). Good things are coming your way.
Let’s be honest. In this business you meet a lot of awful, mean people (the yin). Discovering this website, however, has shown me that there are still thoughtful, big-hearted people who were and will be a part of this business in the future. That’s why I keep plugging away, trying to find work (the yang).
Gorgeous, heartful, salt of the earth stuff you’re sharing Kathryn. Keep it coming and I’ll keep shouting about the project on this side of the pond.
Thanks for leading. I love to come to PFTA for inspiration and a reminder about what is possible — both from a yin and yang aspect. These are fucking scary times but if you don’t have the balls — then what have you got?
Two thoughts:
A journey begins with a single step.
Go big or go home….
“There ain’t no dark ’til something shines.” – Townes Van Zandt
Shine on, y’all.
2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks
[...] The Yin And The Yang Of Bootstrapping A Business | Please Feed The … [...]
[...] at least it’s an honest assessment. Which is the crux of Kathryn Proulx’s story, The Yin And The Yang Of Bootstrapping A Business. Kathryn is wife to Erik, the unemployed writer who started PFTA. Together, they’ve managed [...]
Post a Comment