I grew up with someone who lived by the motto, “Hope for the best, but expect the worst.” His feeling was, if you hope for the best, there’s always a chance that some day you’ll get lucky. But if you expect the worst, well, when things go sour there’s less room for disappointment.
But here’s the thing — nobody who ever did anything great expected the worst. They may allow for failure on the first or second or 50th try. They may expect an uphill battle and temporary setbacks. But they always believe the best is imminent.
To expect the worst is to subconsciously guide yourself to that end. It paves the way for mediocrity and self-fulfilling prophesies. If you expect the worst, there’s nothing to lose — especially your emotional investment.
What if, just for once, you allowed yourself to expect the best? I mean, really, truly felt it in your bones. If you believed in the best possible result, how would you approach your project differently? Would you spend a little extra time? Do a little more research? If something went haywire after the first day, would you just give up? Or look for a way to learn from it and make it better?
I’m learning more and more each day about the power that intentions have over the course of our lives. And not because of some mystical, unseen energy (although I’m believing in that too). But because of the way our beliefs affect the way we act.
We all know hard-luck people. They expect the worst and are always rewarded. We also know charmed lives that find good fortune every day. Regardless of which side of that spectrum you fall on, you can be sure that you’re wearing your beliefs on your sleeve. And people around you react accordingly.
It’s a little bit chicken-and-egg. Do negative thinkers get that way because of negative circumstances? Or are negative circumstances invited by negative thinking? All I know is, there are people who expect the best and get it. And I expect to be one of them.
18 Comments
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I try avoid negative people, they send off bad vibees, I do believe in realism but often, pushing forward produces good results,maybe not what you expected but far better than if you had sat around being negative !
Good blog. It is very true that inner beliefs communicate both consciously and subconsciously. And expecting the worst is not advisable either, as that can prevent you from even trying.
But I think the mandate “Always think positive” can actually make a person really miserable, and is not much more useful than a mandate “Always think negative” would be.
Life is positive and negative. The interacting and “opposing” dualities literally are the stuff of reality. The interaction and eventual union of opposites is the mechanism behind creativity and evolution.
IMO, it’s not “being positive” or “avoiding negativity” that evolves us as a person. It’s by integrating the shadow and the light that we become whole. Everything has a role to play.
“The universe is a coherent whole and you are indivisible from it.” -Frank Herbert
Good points, both. Life is positive and negative, indeed. Or what if it is neither? Taoism would say we just are…that there are neither inherently positive nor negative attributes other than our assignments of those things. An asteroid that crashes into the earth would seem negative. Unless it’s a half million years later, and we’re hiking in the canyon it left behind.
Admin-Great asteroid metaphor!
Yesterday in conversation I compared the universe as a slab of marble in a sculptor’s studio. To make that art, a whole lot of marble’s going to end up on the floor.
Cheers
Without the big asteroid, we would not be here, it wiped out the dinos
Cool post. Staying positive is rough, and I struggle with it all the time, but it’s a worthy goal. I agree with Mark, life is positive and negative (some people have the good luck to be born in the U.S., others pop out on a beach in Somalia), but I also think people can make their own luck, and being positive helps. A lot.
Jeff
I am a self described eternal optimist. Some friends call me a Polly Anna. All that means if there’s a disappointment coming I’m gonna be the LAST one to see it coming and sadly the hardest one hit. However knowing all this for all my 39 years I’ve never changed my approach.
My father, on the other hand, has a saying “expect nothing and you’ll never be disappointed” for him it’s all about protecting myself from hurt.
So I guess that’s the divide, are you willing to hurt? Are you open enough to the possibility that if it doesn’t happen you could be hurt?
For me being open has always brought good things, hurt or not I’ll stick with it.
Expect the worst and you’ll get just that. Hope for the best, act accordingly and you’ll get it. Just don’t forget about the “act accordingly” part. Action doesn’t replace positive intentions; it’s a necessary component to make them happen.
I always hated that “expect the worste….” saying. It actually makes me feel anxious when I think it or say it! I’m fron the “Keep your eye on the prize” camp. If you can see it, feel it, taste it, it’ll come. Oh, and don’ forget: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
I guess I’m what you call a closet optimist. Inside I’m always thinking not “if” but “when” and the happiness that comes with “when”. Outside I always try to remain even keeled. The last thing I want is for anyone to feel sorry for me and for some reason I’m uncomfortable with compliments. I also accept the fact that failure could be a possibility. IF something doesn’t work out at least I tried. I let myself hurt, be angry, etc. then move on.
Ah yes, the power of positive thinking. But what happens when the universe starts throwing curve balls? Like right now, I have my eye on relocating to a new city/market and potentially a new employer (I’ve been freelancing for them since June, and they’re working toward bringing me on FT). We’ve signed a lease on a house there. Found a renter for our house here. And the moving date is set. Only NOW I’m starting to get 3-4 recruiter contacts a week with possible job opportunities here. Granted, none of them are a sure thing. And all of ‘em would require some serious (as in, 1-1.5 hours each way in general) commuting. But through it all, I keep reminding myself that I have to trust in my gut…and believe in my future success…and recognize that all these “offers” are just a test.
Jerry,
What a good problem to have. I’ll tell you what my friend Sally Hogshead told me many years ago. “You can’t turn down a job you haven’t been offered.” There’s no harm in speaking with these recruiters. Even interviewing. It doesn’t sound like you have an actual written offer yet. Until you do, there’s no decision to make. If any of these recruiters have something good to say, I’d listen.
One fascinating thing about job searching and the internet is that you can usually figure out who agencies hire instead of you, when they have a job opening.
I’ve had a couple of eye-opening experiences this month, as after some Google hunting I find these folks and think “there is no way a creative director could consider ____’s work better than mine.”
So, I’m left wondering “Am I as good as I think I am?” Given the amount of genuine kudos I get from well-respected ad peeps, I think I have some talent.
So then, I ponder “Well, if that’s the work they think is good, I probably don’t want to work there anyway.”
Maybe I’m a arrogant prick, or maybe not.
Negative things happen, and then positive things happen.
Or do they both happen at once?
” we will never beat the british, no point trying, I am going home” – George Washington
Of course your friend may have just grown up on Mel Brooks movies, since, “Hope For The Best, Expect The Worst” is a song from The 12 Chairs.
i’m hopelessly optimistic too.
i choose to believe what a friend w/ ALS told me once when she could still speak: “I look at everyday as a gift.”
:cheers:
It’s important to distinguish between negativity per se and the accusation of negativity. I have worked with many people in advertising and design who were in a position of power (through a social arrangement like a company position, or simply through their family money) and were used to getting their way. Some were talented, but invariably, they were able to maintain a mythic sense of their own world-historical significance and the value of their own contribution, and were incapable of seeing or rewarding anyone else’s talent or contribution. When they said, “You’re being negative,” what they really meant was, “I’m the positive one here.” When they said, “Be a team player,” they meant, “Do what I say.” When they said, “That’s unprofessional,” what they meant was, “I’m the only one that gets to do things like that.” So don’t be negative, but also, don’t be afraid to be accused of negativity!
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