Note: This post originally appeared in the3six5.
Two years can feel like an eternity. A president can go from savior to pariah. Cancer can form and remiss and return again. Careers can take enough twists and turns to leave you wondering if there’s any point in wondering.
Yet, two years is a blip.
We get so caught up in singular events that it’s easy to forget how time erases the gravity of most everything. Yes, we will always remember where we were the day the planes struck. And the death of a loved one can have permanent, often scarring effects on those by whom they are survived. But the truth is, most seemingly monumental occasions are mere specs on the timeline. What feels devastating in the moment can, with hindsight, be traced back as the genesis of a positive, life-changing shift.
Getting laid off falls into this category. It’s crushing. It feels like the end of days. And for a period of no more than 48 hours, it’s acceptable to be in that space.
But the best advice I can give the suddenly unemployed is to put yourself in the two-years-from-now mindset. Find a way to really, truly grasp that you won’t be homeless. You won’t be dead. Your family and friends will still be your family and friends. If you have to move in with your in laws? It would suck. But you know what? It’s a roof over your head. And it’s temporary.
In the universe of big events, a layoff is really quite tiny. As much as you can, trivialize it. Make a molehill out of a mountain. Free your mind from the anxiety of demise. Because once you do, it’s supremely liberating.
Today marks the two-year anniversary of my own most-recent layoff. I cringe when I hear people say, “take it from me.” But take it from me: The worst that can happen is rarely the worst that can happen. In the past 730 days, I’ve blogged, freelanced, made movies, started writing a book, and directed commercials. And none of that would have been possible if I hadn’t lost my job.
October 15, 2008 seems like yesterday. Yet it feels so long ago.
19 Comments
So true. When some of the worst things come knocking at your door (unemployment, serious illness, loss of loved ones), you often feel you won’t get through it. But you do.
When all of the things you truly fear come one after another, you realize that life does go on. That’s the beauty and the bitch of it.
It sounds trite, but once you do let go of your fear and open yourself to the possibilities around you, life really does get better. Even if it doesn’t feel like that where you’re sitting right now. Give it a shot.
This is fabulous advice for any life change. It’s so horrifying now to be laid off – but in many cases, it’s equally horrifying to keep working 4 or 5 people’s job for 1 salary.
The two years from now mindset is brilliant. Because whether you’re laid off or keep your job or tell your boss to shove it or…, the time is going to pass.
Losing my job was a godsend. Since being forced to go on full disability, I’ve gotten married, am making my first music album and will soon be having kids. Had I not been booted from adland, none of these things would be on my agenda, I am sure. Still, I’m back to the point where I gotta start looking for a job. Sigh…
It has been a little over a year since I was laid off. I was devastated, and sadly to say, have probably not used my time or energy in the most productive of ways. Tonight staying up late flipping through chanels, I came upon “Lemonade”. I feel like the fog has lifted and I can see a way to have an enriched life, with or without the actual riches. Life is short and this is my time to make the best damn lemonade or lemon meringue pie.
As far as Lemonade DTW. Forget it. The artists are not going to be bringing life back into Detroit any time soon no matter how hard they try.
The city clamped down and shut down Theater Bizarre last weekend. That’s the sort of welcome artists get in Detroit “The City That Doesn’t Want To Progress– Ever”.
Article:
http://www.detnews.com/article/20101025/METRO/10250397/1361/Owner-says-Detroit-moving-to-demolish-Theatre-Bizarre
“Lemonade” caught my eye on October 7, because layoffs were to be announced in my division of a major Pharma company just 5 days later.
While watching Lemonade, I felt like the Universe was telling me I would be one of those laid off the next week, and it would be OK. It was so strange.
Tuesday, October 12 I was out buying champagne & lunch to celebrate with friends when my boss called to say I was deselected (the new PC term, apparently) from the biological/injectable sales force, due to a 50% reduction in my area.
No surprise, right?
Right now what I’m most grateful for is the time to grieve: for my darling friend who died in a tragic riding accident September 1, for my beloved old hound that I had to take to the vet to be euthanized during a stupid sales meeting in August, for my husband who lost his father back in May. My constant work schedule hadn’t allowed that grace.
Grieving for the decade of my life that I spent working tirelessly for a company that saw me as disposable is the least of these things. I’m glad to be out.
I’m determined to make a difference out there, somewhere, somehow. I’ll find it.
Thank you, Erik, for a great film that spoke to me in surprising ways.
Peace.
August 25, 2010 was two years for me, and it does seem like yesterday, yet so long ago. Since then I’ve moved 350 miles away from home, gotten married to a beautiful woman and a mortgage, and…and.
I try to tell people the same thing during a time of hardship. “Ask yourself if this is going to matter in one year. If the answer is yes, then it MIGHT be worth the worry. If the answer is no, then don’t give it the time of day.”
That would be August 25, 2008. Oops.
Detroit
Ford wanted his workers to work the fields in the summer and work in the factory in the winter, why not turn large parts of detroit into ‘city farms’… organic ones, where people can come along and grow vegetables etc.
Allotments are what we call them in the UK
Hi-tech works well with low tech
Thanks for sharing your experience. When I went through the same situation, unemployed for 16 months, there was no one to share the feelings with. People do need to know that you will survive it and it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Don’t be afraid to tell someone what you are feeling, holding it in hurts. It took me a while to get where you are now, but today I am able to share and help someone else deal with the experience. We are more then things and our life is too important. You do live to rise another day. Thanks. All the best and continued happiness in your future projects.
I’ve been out for just over 2 years and sorry to say, it’s not great for everyone. In the past 2 years I’ve lost my marriage, my home, my lifesavings and even my dog while being turned down for over 600 jobs. I’ve seen who my friends really were, and unfortunately, a lot of them weren’t the friends I had thought. So 2 years out, I may not be dead but I am homeless and depressed. Not everyone has a storybook ending. In fact, the majority of people I know are surviving only because their spouse still has a job.
Congratulations to the people that have made losing their job work well for them. But keep in mind, being laid-off is not a magic ticket to being your own boss and realizing your dreams. For a lot of people, no matter how hard we work to get back on our feet, we haven’t been able to and it will be a good 10 years from now before I’ve recovered from the financial damage being laid-off has done to me and my family.
I share this not to be a bummer but because all I read about is happy endings, which make people that have yet to find their own feel much worse. “What am I doing wrong? I see this person did something great and in only one year.” I write this to let the other people out there that have lost everything, including the roof over their heads, know that they are not alone and they are not in the minority. And they are doing the same amount of work as the people who are lucky enough to find success after losing their job.
After you have an income again, it’s easy to look back on a period of unemployment and be so relieved to be getting back on your feet that you feel stronger for getting through it. The truth is, you were lucky. Not everyone is.
Me:
This is the comment I always feared I would get.
Maybe I am just lucky. Maybe we are in a bubble here.
One thing I hope you’ll notice is that nowhere in my rants have I ever claimed to strike it rich. I’m closer to your situation than I am to financial independence. Anything could happen to anybody at any time. And I hope and pray that for you, the one piece of good fortune you need to get back on track is right around the corner.
Please let us know when (not if) that happens.
Thank you for setting us straight.
Erik
Thanks for the comments Erik. And again, I don’t intend to be a downer, but as many laid-off ad people come here, I just wanted those still in my situation to realize they’re not alone and they shouldn’t feel so terrible about their situation. Many others are still in the same spot. It often seems like the only things I read about are people finding jobs or starting their own thing and being successful. Sometimes those are the hardest things to read because it seems like everyone else is doing great which leaves a person wondering what is so terribly wrong with them.
me
start your own firm, you can have a job, self employment, in 1 second, if your willing to think like a boss
Hi everybody,
this is a respectful nod from the other side of The Pond – “Lemonade” was just shown here in Germany on some small cable station… And it was like someone had shot a movie about my friends and me, about the discussions we have all the time! I work as an ad director for a music mag here – and have become friends with many people from the field the movie deals with: ad planners, copywriters, and others, along the way, and the situation over here, too, is just as you described in your movie: nobody’s job is safe any more, and it’s going to be even worse (we all know that). To avoid the scenario of being laid off (in Germany, things started to get really bad around 2003/4), I took the first step 6 years ago and told my boss that I did want to work for him, but not full time and on a flat salary any more because I knew when the situation would deteriorate, he more or less would have to get rid of me due to economic reasons. Since I had some clients for which I did other work at that time already, the financial consequences weren’t that bad when I decided to have at least one leg out in the entrepreneurial shark-infested pool – I don’t do ad-related stuff for said other clients (I do translations, consulting, coaching, writing columns, dubbing movies etc.) So what I’m saying is that, with the market getting smaller, the media -especially the “classic” ones- having considerably smaller budgets to burn, and a new generation of creative personnel that is willing to work for almost nothing just to avoid yet another internship again, there maybe a possibility and opportunity for some of you out there to take action before the worst case scenario happens… For me, it worked out ok because I get paid less and less for running the advertising dept. (freelance ad reps/directors over here work on commission basis – no need for any further comments), and at the same time, my other clients balance it out a bit. This won’t be a great solution for those among you who have kids, a mortgage to pay or other financial obligations, but it may work for those of you being responsible just for themselves, a moderate apartment, and a run-down car that looks like s***t ,-). At least, I feel a lot more independent, and while I sort of watch my original market collapse slowly, I try to find more clients for my other services, and sometimes, it even works out. – Wow, that has been a long one, I’m sorry if I bored you guys; I just wanted to say there may be a third development in the cards, one between “it’s ok that I was laid off because I could do the things I always wanted to” and the one Me refers to – not the creative, fulfilling, courageous leap, but at least you may feel less dependent and inactive when the axe comes… Just my 10000 words – I love the movie, it’s real food for thought, and will spread the word about it and the blog!
Jason:
I think it’s unfair for you, me, or anyone else to presume that simply starting a firm is the panacea to his(?)problems. There may be a thousand reasons for the situation he finds himself in. None of us have enough information to prescribe or assume anything.
Personally, I am thankful for the perspective. This shit is hard, and we’re all just one step removed from homelessness ourselves.
Daniela,
Thank you for the fantastic perspective.
Sincerely,
Erik
This is eatxcly what I was looking for. Thanks for writing!
erik
good point
your right, was just a suggestion